*** Boogs v UNC Asheville ***

[Fatz Geronimo]

First time this season my Boogs are boring me

it’s not their fault... I’d kill myself if I ever thought the best approach to coaching basketball is the approach this motherfvcker apparently believes in

I’ve seen special olympics girls games with a more enjoyable, coherent offense

 

[ShenaniganZ]

I love that tiny little stud

 

[Fatz Geronimo]

say what you will - but what these bums lack in talent they make up for by being boring

 

[Slippin Jimmy]

Gotta give it to these scrubs, they damn sure get back on defense

 

[Van Gorstache]

Assville is just absolutely dreadful on offense. Point totals so far this year: 87 (against NAIA team), 49, 50, 52, 38, 51, 70.

They rank 340 in adjusted offensive efficiency (out of 353). Ranked dead last in turnover %, 247th in offensive rebounding %, dead last in offensive steal %, and 329th in effective FG %. And they play slow (347th in average length of possession). So can't pass, shoot or rebound, and turn the ball over more than anybody else in D-1 despite trying to slow the game down.

Devin Baker, frosh PG, takes 38.4% of their shots when on the court (8th highest % in D-1), yet shoots at only a 38% clip, and only 16% from 3. He has a Kenpom offensive rating that would rank between Will Macoy and Cole Blackstock.

Okay, okay, we get it @Van Gorstache, these guys suck on offense. But what about when the boogs have the ball, surely they'll play hard and put up a fight on the defensive glass? Nope. Dead f'ing last in giving up offensive rebounds. And 338th in 2PT FG% (i.e., lots of dunks).

Look for Mac and Ho Daddy to delittle these fools, and for lots of dunks in transition from steals on sloppy passing. Look for boogs to cover the 35.5 in the first half. And it won't even be reliant on the threes falling. If they do, @Harvey Specter may be called out the stands to get some time on the chaulk line.

Remarkably, my number crunching did not even accurately portray the morass of ass that is UNC Assville’s offense.

 

[Boytano]

luv me sum fish

 

[ALLTIGER85]

Pitiful. Looking like a 9 seed that first half. Need to boog hard to start the second.

 

[Fatz Geronimo]

hmm... I see 35.5 out there, don’t wanna get backdoor chAUlkied, but I’d still have to go with the Boogs

just waiting to see if the team totals come out... with the 139-140ish total, that comes out to around 87/88 to 51/52 for the team totals... anything 88.5 or below is getting blitzkrieged

thank zod they never posted those totals... Bryce is due for a 1-man Boog stretch this half and we should put up 50 after BRUCE got in that ass at the half... but I’d have had an aneurysm after the 2nd time they just flat dribbled out the shot clock

just get this half over with healthy and never schedule any team coached by this asshole ever again

 

[Denim Vest]

These trash bums better reimburse us for having to replace the shot clock horns after this.

 

[MomentInTheSun]

May still cover but this game blows

 

[Fatz Geronimo]

These trash bums better reimburse us for having to replace the shot clock horns after this.

5 times by my count... in 24 minutes... and not because we’re just d’ing the piss out of them, but because they just dribble the piss out of the ball with no purpose

I’d rather play Marshall and have them make 18 3’s and beat us than watch this shit

make that 6 as I was typing... jesus christ

 

[Fatz Geronimo]

7... I’m mailing this coach a box of elephant shit

 

[Denim Vest]

Lord God I think the shot buzzer finally kicked it.

 

[ShenaniganZ]

HO DADDY

 

[Denim Vest]

Haha Horace with the jam then just barrels over some hapless child.

 

[Fatz Geronimo]

8... I’m gonna hire someone from the deep web if this doesn’t stop

 

[MomentInTheSun]

Wtf? Travel? Looked like a nice move by Horace

 

[Fatz Geronimo]

and this asshole is smiling and clapping as they come off the court for the tv timeout? they just scored to stop a 15-0 run with 4 near shot clock violations and he’s proud of himself and his squad?

I legit hate this motherfvcker

 

[Fatz Geronimo]

tall Layne Staley gonna get benched if he keeps shooting with 15 left on the shot clock

and if this black ref keeps it up, he’s getting a box of elephant shit too

 

[Fatz Geronimo]

9... how is this a strategy?

 

[Denim Vest]

9... how is this a strategy?

Horn guy gave it a little extra on that last one.

It’s ridiculous. I hate Jason Witten just for being friends with this coach. Shitty announcer anyway.

 

[ShenaniganZ]

@Fatz Geronimo legit making my evening. I'm in tears.

 

[ShenaniganZ]

CHUMA sneaking one in before chAUlkie time

 

[Denim Vest]

Ga st down 20+ cut it to 3 against the trash Bama club. May have to check the end of that one.

 

[Boytano]

well hellooo chAUkies!!

 

[Space Funk Booty]

Line got chaulkied

 

[cookedw]

OMG if Parker could have pulled that off

 

[Boytano]

well, not bad. can't be up for all of them

 

[Denim Vest]

HAHA Bama goes down at the buzzer.

 

[Slippin Jimmy]

Welp the bams just got daggered at the buzzer

 

[Fatz Geronimo]

@Fatz Geronimo legit making my evening. I'm in tears.

I mean, you can shorten the game if you’re overmatched and really work your offense - but if you do that, at least do it with ball movement and really make a team defend you for 30 seconds...

you don’t do it by dribbling and passing with no purpose, and legitimately dribbling out the shot clock... 3 different times the shot clock expired with some guy dribbling with his back to the goddamn basket... I mean, jokes aside - I’m gonna need someone to explain to me how that’s a viable strategy

plus, they had a couple dudes who were ugly and unathletic but looked like they could stroke it... you can be deliberate yet still take shots when they’re presented to you... so I don’t hate their overall strategy, I just think it’s an absolutely atrocious and pointless way to implement it

that team ran the equivalent of the Gus CoxCat QB Carousel offensive strategy

 

[ShenaniganZ]

I mean, you can shorten the game if you’re overmatched and really work your offense - but if you do that, at least do it with ball movement and really make a team defend you for 30 seconds...

you don’t do it by dribbling and passing with no purpose, and legitimately dribbling out the shot clock... 3 different times the shot clock expired with some guy dribbling with his back to the goddamn basket... I mean, jokes aside - I’m gonna need someone to explain to me how that’s a viable strategy

plus, they had a couple dudes who were ugly and unathletic but looked like they could stroke it... you can be deliberate yet still take shots when they’re presented to you... so I don’t hate their overall strategy, I just think it’s an absolutely atrocious and pointless way to implement it

that team ran the equivalent of the Gus CoxCat QB Carousel offensive strategy

It was legitimately abysmal brah

 

[Slippin Jimmy]

Welp the bams just got daggered at the buzzer

Haha holy hell I didn’t realize bam was up 21 at the half

 

[Boytano]

Having lunch with mom and the replay of the game is on. It very well could cut insomnia if there weren’t so many HYGs on the court.

 

[Boytano]

Having lunch with mom and the replay of the game is on. It very well could cut insomnia if there weren’t so many HYGs on the court.

Spoiler alert: AU is making the same mistakes